Thursday, 26 May 2016

How to be a Khaleesi

I write this today as a self-love checklist for anyone who might need to hear that they are, in fact, the most important person in the world. If you're a fan of the Game of Thrones series, or of the events happening in Westeros and Essos, then you will know that one of the pivotal people in the story is Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, (Other Titles) Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, (More Titles) Mother of Dragons.

I need this post for myself today as much as I'm sure there are people out there who need this post too. I won't go into details - because why on earth would I want to dwell on something that was bad for me? + why would you want to read it? Let's just say that something I hoped would never happen, but cleverly planned for, came to pass. Wyrd bið ful aræd. Fate is inexorable.

So here are my top tips on how to live your life like the violet-eyed, silver-haired queen of Meereen, and slay it. Completely, because you are a queen of your own little kingdom.

Stand Tall
You will notice that throughout the whole show, Daenerys never once slouches or slumps. She is always sat or stood up straight. Now, this may have something to do with the very first episode when her brother told her to stand up properly, but since then she has never once let her shoulders fall. Why? Because she knows her worth she knows that she is important, and she's never needed to be told that. You are soo important to the world, and you should know it, and you should never slouch in a way that says 'I am less than' when you a more than you could possibly know.

Dress Impeccably
This is a thought I have very single day when I wake up anyway, always have done and always will do. No matter how god awful you feel, get up, dress up, put on your make- up, make yourself feel completely beautiful, suddenly, you won't feel so awful, you'll feel beautiful. + surely that's a feeling you always want to have right?

Surround Yourself With People Who Love You
The Mother of Dragons has always surrounded herself, to the best of her knowledge at least, with people who think the entire sun shines out of her eyes. You need people like that too. People who want to hear what you have to say, who respect your opinion and inspire your ambitions and your dreams. Anyone who is even slightly negative in your life, you seriously do not need. You want people who think your art is beautiful, who laugh at your jokes, who think it's cute that you write short stories, who listen to your thoughts, and don't make you feel like these things are trivial - people who instead feel like these are the reasons why the sun resides in your heart.

People Will Betray You
Now chill a sec -  I don't mean like you're going to be '''''Ceasered''''', and stabbed 23 times in the back by your mates. I mean that the person you gave your heart too will crush it. I mean the friend who you thought always had your back has been spreading rumors about you to all your mutuals. I mean your work-wife who you thought was helping you get promoted sabotaged everything and took it for themselves. People come into your life for lots of different reasons. Some of those reasons are unfortunately utterly heart-breaking. That doesn't mean you are broken. It means you were full of too much. Too much love, too much knowledge, too much kindness. People take advantage of these, see them as weaknesses, but you are the opposite of weak.

Sometimes People Deserve Second Chances (Sometimes)
Now how sorry have we all felt for Jorah Mormont for the last season and a half since he got banished from his Queens side. Yes he sold her secrets to her enemies, almost got her and her unborn child killed - like yeah okay so he's not the best guy - but that was right at the beginning, then he saved her life, advised her continually, loved her from a distance, and was then banished from her kingdom. He deserved a second chance, because he fought tirelessly to gain her trust back, and even though he thought she hated him, he spent months (I assume moths - Essos time is weird) to save her life again! Not everyone does, remember that if they hurt you once before, then there's a very good chance that they'll do it again. Never forget that there is such a huge galaxy of love inside you that people will fight for a chance to be incased in it again, or it's so vast that you can get by just fine without them.

Never Give Up
Daeny has been fighting and dreaming of getting back to Westeros since she was a very little girl (I say very little because in the books shes only like sixteen and apparently that's grown sooooo). That has been her goal, to get home, to rule. She's dreamt and worked tirelessly for it. You have to as well if you want to achieve your dream. It's not enough to hope, or too want it. It has to be worked for, pushed for. It will tear you apart, and you will probably spend many a dark night feeling like you'll never get it. But her dream is to re-take Seven Kingdoms at Civil War with each other, from a Country that killed her family and banished her to live her life as a beggar princess. Your dream is not going to be that hard. Work hard, never give up, and ask for help.

Never Forget Who You Are
Don't change, don't pretend to be something you're not. Who you are is enough. Who you are is worthwhile. You don't need to change or conform or be anything anyone doesn't want you to be. If you like watching Formula 1 on a Sunday with your Dad. Then keep doing that. That's you. If you like getting up at 6am and going for a run. Then don't stop. That's you. If you like baking to make up cupcake recipes at midnight. Then keep it up. That's you. No one should ever make you feel like you can't do those things - least of all you. Don't change because you're afraid people might think you're 'a bit weird' That's how I've been introduced to 90% of the people I work with. 'This is Kat, she's a bit weird'. Yes, I am. I am also fantastic.

Love Yourself Forever
This Targaryen chick has been through it all. She still knows she's the best thing to walk the earth. We all are. You need to realise that. You need to look into your mirror and realise that the person looking back at you is so much more deserving of your love than anybody else in the universe. The only person you are truly going to spend your life with lives in that mirror. You can fall in love with your soulmate, you can have friends who know you inside out, but there's still those dark recesses that only you know about, so love those parts completely because you have got to live with them forever. And once you love them that the sun in your chest can leak into the dark dungeons in your mind and turn them into gardens of wild flowers. 

You are so beautiful, and so loved, and I never want you to feel any different. You are the ruler of your kingdom, you are the gold giver, the lord of the land. You are the most important thing and Meereen needs Daenerys just like this blue and green marble needs you.


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